To Abort or Not To Abort

This is the question that many of our girls face with minimum reliable counsel, if any, while the rest of us just go about life with a "Do Not Disturb" sign written all over our faces.There has been an incessant furore on the issue of abortion in the Draft constitution of the Democratic Republic of Kenya on whether it should be legitimized on not. Further, a million dollar question that has been raised by the pundits & still lacks a solid consensus is, when does life begin. Sadly, many of the people at the forefront of this debate are men and men of cloth at that. There has been very little input from our female partners if any on the issue which is at the core of their very survival. Many have argued, and rightly so, that the issue of abortion is a medical issue and not a political one. And as such, political opinion cannot and should not be allowed to overshadow medical opinion & instead the two should compliment each other with politics coming in from a policy making & implementation angle. Another school of thought out there is that, this issue is a woman's issue and if you don't have uterus you have no business whining about it in the first place. The fault in that is that a wrong assumption is made here to the effect that a man wasn't involved in the process to begin with while we know very well that it takes two to tangle. The jury is out there but what is unequivocally clear are the effects of abortion. According to medics, the effects of an abortion conducted by an armature doctor can be catastrophic, and as we speak many of our public hospitals are continuously being inundated by patients of an abortion process gone awry which was conducted clandestinely by underground quacks using all sorts of tools & crude equipments you can think of for fear of being prosecuted.
However, even as we continue exchanging blows and engaging in a moral debate on what is right and what isn’t, the reality is still out there glaring at us. A small research would reveal that side effects may occur with induced abortion, whether surgical or by pill. These include abdominal pain and cramping, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Abortion also carries the risk of significant complications such as bleeding, infection, and damage to organs. Serious complications occur in less than 1 out of 100 early abortions and in about 1 out of every 50 later abortions. Complications may include:
• Heavy Bleeding - Some bleeding after abortion is normal. However, if the cervix is torn or the uterus is punctured, there is a risk of severe bleeding known as hemorrhaging. When this happens, a blood transfusion may be required. Severe bleeding is also a risk with the use of RU486. One in 100 women who use RU486 requires surgery to stop the bleeding.
• Infection – Infection can develop from the insertion of medical instruments into the uterus, or from fetal parts that are mistakenly left inside (known as an incomplete abortion). A pelvic infection may lead to persistent fever over several days and extended hospitalization. It can also cause scarring of the pelvic organs.
• Incomplete Abortion - Some fetal parts may be mistakenly left inside after the abortion. Bleeding and infection may result.
• Sepsis – A number of RU486 or mifepristone users have died as a result of sepsis (total body infection).
• Anesthesia – Complications from general anesthesia used during abortion surgery may result in convulsions, heart attack, and in extreme cases, death. It also increases the risk of other serious complications by two and a half times.
• Damage to the Cervix - The cervix may be cut, torn, or damaged by abortion instruments. This can cause excessive bleeding that requires surgical repair.
• Scarring of the Uterine Lining – Suction tubing, curettes, and other abortion instruments may cause permanent scarring of the uterine lining.
• Perforation of the Uterus - The uterus may be punctured or torn by abortion instruments. The risk of this complication increases with the length of the pregnancy. If this occurs, major surgery may be required, including removal of the uterus (known as a hysterectomy).
• Damage to Internal organs - When the uterus is punctured or torn, there is also a risk that damage will occur to nearby organs such as the bowel and bladder.
• Death - In extreme cases, other physical complications from abortion including excessive bleeding, infection, organ damage from a perforated uterus, and adverse reactions to anesthesia may lead to death. This complication is rare, but is real.
What is however clear is that our women and girls are dying out there while we continue engaging in politicks of ignorance. As people ponder on this issue I would like to add several to the menu:
a) Suppose someone closer to you like your sister, mother, girl friend or daughter is defiled, would rather they carry the pregnancy to full term and live their lives being haunted by this reality represented by the child?
b) Suppose the life of the mother is at risk, would you rather take a chance of normal delivery against the doctor’s advice and prefer to save the child at the altar of the mother?
c) Suppose the doctors detect that the fetus in the womb would suffer from very serious conditions if delivered and will therefore never have a normal life. Would rather live to see it suffer every morning you wake up until it dies?
These and many more are some of questions that women the world over battle with. Now, instead of playing God and acting holier-than-though moralists, I suggest we focus on the root problem here. It’s Not about abortion but rather, what drives a woman to abort. That’s where the journey begins as opposed to fighting the symptoms. Remember that when you point a finger at someone else, the other three are pointing right back at you. Let’s change the woman/man in the mirror first and the whole world will become a better place.

A report compiled By Joan Kabucho et al.
Edited by Stanley.

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6 Signs you're in a healthy relationship

Our relationships are vital to our mental well-being. However, toxic relationships can really do a number on our happiness and outlook on life. As a result, it is important to look for individuals who possess qualities that allow for healthy relationships. Although, once again, not an exhaustive list, the qualities listed below are those that should be at the very heart of a healthy relationship. And, just as you would expect your friend, family member or loved one to display these qualities, it is just as important to reciprocate.

1.Loyalty: Whether it's in friendships or in family, loyalty is truly important to maintain a healthy relationship. All of us are guilty, at one time or another, of making mistakes, having ups and downs, and even displaying some behavior that we may not always be proud of. When we find friends or loved ones who can forgive us and stand by us…even during our worst moments…we should be especially grateful. That said, loyalty should never be taken for granted and we should always be deeply appreciative when it comes our way.

2.Respect: I once knew an individual who was very opinionated about political topics. She would talk down to people who disagreed with her and would be very disrespectful. Not only did she make people feel stomped on, but she left many disinterested in friendship. Treating others with kindness and the respect they deserve is important in gaining the respect that WE desire. It never feels good to be taken for granted, judged or used and it doesn’t feel good to be talked down to or treated rudely or inappropriately. There will be times that we may not always have full agreement with our friends or loved ones, but respecting them along the way is a must.

3.Unconditionally There: There is nothing worse than having someone always resurface in your life when they are in need, are looking for something or need a favor. In a culture of “you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours,” it is somewhat rare to find those “who just scratch your back,” period. Finding individuals who want you in their lives just because…and not because they want something in return is refreshing and worth holding on to. Those who are generous of heart are to be treasured!

4.Trustworthy: I once worked with a woman who, within my first week on the job, felt the need to tell me all of the intimate details of the various extra-marital affairs that had occurred with the management of the firm. She was supposedly friends with these people and I have no doubt, was told this information in the most strictest of confidences. How she felt it was appropriate to divulge this information to a new-hire like me, I still have no idea. But, it was her nature to gossip about everyone and everything. If you share something in confidence, you should be able to trust that the information will remain that way.

5.A Genuine Sounding Board: Taking a genuine interest in what others have to say and really listening to someone is important in developing solid relationships. Letting go of the “me, me, me” and focusing on the other person not only makes the other person feel valued and appreciated, but they feel that they can really talk to someone who cares. Those who take the time to really listen to our thoughts and feelings, and then help us work through difficult times and situations, share our lives at a much deeper level than those who don’t. These are individuals worth hanging on to.

6.Dependability: I had a friend who frequently would RSVP to small gatherings and then would never show. They never explained…never brought it up…and never apologized. Although this example is somewhat trivial, it still makes the point. Obviously there are times when things come up that prevent individuals from following through on what they promise, but if a friend, co-worker or family member perpetually drops the ball, they may be sending you a message. If a friend says they are going to do something or be somewhere, you should be able to count on them. And, in reciprocation, they you.
What traits do you look for in a friend or partner? Are your relationships healthy?